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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">20145 g( _+ H, d O) [ V- `mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">年8月12日
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老秘网“文稿修改演播室”（QQ群号：366351120）
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方
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4 w; x% {# c% p+ lmso-font-kerning:0pt">一、对一篇汇报材料的讨论
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font-family:黑体;mso-hansi-font-family:黑体;mso-bidi-font-family:黑体">老猫：某市美丽乡村创建工作情况汇报，大家帮某同学推敲一组标题，如何？
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"Times New Roman"">（一）立足转型强村，打造宜业乡村。
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"Times New Roman"">（二）坚持“五水共治”，打造宜人乡村
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"Times New Roman"">（三）着眼增收致富，打造宜农乡村。
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"Times New Roman"">（四）突出民生保障，打造宜居乡村。
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$ ] S) o# b$ {4 H! s7 Hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">魅力乡村，幸福乡村、宜居乡村、富裕乡村之类的，我的意思是用一根线串起来，让这组小标题形成一个整体。+ s& c7 `+ Y" \. cmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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; m* m. R- I; h楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：( A& R8 V& G! D" T( l0 _mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">标题分两部分，前半部分亮手段（做法），后半部分凸显成效。四个乡村的思路不错，但内容上缺少支撑，建议再从内容上面抓取下逻辑。另外，感觉题目不足以体现内容。/ H5 K7 D7 ~9 H# g( Z$ Z6 P& r
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，内容来讲有并列的，也有逻辑递进关系，不知如何把握。& l" ^0 `7 V. z" q% M
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/ l; Q& e9 b$ @# T8 H6 h楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">猫老：, c7 T" J+ S* ]4 amso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">富增收入，美展新颜。4 u% S+ D: [5 _4 B" ~' i: cmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">霞光：* C9 f2 c+ h. f9 [1 Z. f, Zmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">民生保障作为出发点，惠农增收作为增长点呢0 S2 j1 L8 g9 B. a; D/ p7 Vmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,$ h! e0 a' {/ a% P3 `0 [* x6 C14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏:0 @% p3 g) I3 k8 H9 ^ a) ~1 {0 v Hmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">感觉民生保障包括很多方面，不只是宜居。宜居一般是和生态环境放在一起的，民生保障一般和和谐、幸福搭配在一起。2 P& z" B! w# Q `' r5 \% _mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度：2 s6 q: F; q6 U; y: F7 M
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺序调整一下，环境放最后。不知道第一点内容。4 V1 d* X2 M0 s$ O; U$ M! B9 M3 |2 t
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整个提纲是这样子的：+ n) Z" I7 S* }0 \/ c6 A2 o5 a' Xmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、三任书记接力干，一张蓝图抓创建1 o3 F8 S; Y4 _7 k5 o1 [
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的7 I8 _+ ]2 E, u: Q& j3 u& E% Hfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;/ ^/ A% }4 {) }" [0 N
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏0 _& B" @& @: C& C J& \" J
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。' T6 J U$ F. P- K
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个自然村向中心村集聚，建成了拥有8 A; u1 O9 }- w1 @, Wmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">533; k% @' E( K. f: Y& R; Q14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:( s* K! j4 L9 [7 N* J% U4 a0 n
宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个摊位的废旧钢铁市场，村集体经济年收入- G- e! W1 E; Y0 ?5 jmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">10002 s: C6 X$ z. g! s) j" Gmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多万元。二是发展物业经济。针对区位优势明显的村，通过农村集体建设用地开发和项目建设，盘活土地，投资发展集体物业项目。如城西新区小东陈村，通过与相邻* [3 n% o3 u7 g3 x6 I3 Y( f1 y' N
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) Y4 m1 H5 B! s9 J* P) q宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个村联合建立五星社区，集聚人口' s7 n" h; f: L$ Z9 H( F7 I; bmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2500( d& G6 [4 M, ?+ R; }0 c5 w5 imso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多人，盘活建设用地" c) ^1 ]5 q5 x- x- ^mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">295 H3 D6 r* _, t$ U2 l( I& [) B/ Z) }
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">：一般正文里不用一是二是三是的吗？' B" p. ^% z9 Q" u7 s0 ]. r& O. P4 n' L+ |mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">用是可以用，问题不在这里。这个材料感觉像是工作总结，挂了个美丽乡村的头，较牵强。/ d. S6 h/ z' b" M! Wmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我不是这个意思，美丽乡村汇报也好，生态乡村汇报也好，这些内容都可以用。一个汇报材料第一是基本情况，第二是对于创建活动本身的相关情况汇报，第三是做法，第四适当点点问题。当然，问题也可以根据实际情况不点。至于你的措施，应该是结合本情况来的。而且此提纲里，做法没有必要分这么多层次，容易造成逻辑上的混乱。你先要明确出这么几个重点。比如，要说转型，你想表达的转型是什么转型，怎么转型，转出什么成效，结合美丽乡村落到优化产业结构上比较好。+ w+ o1 p. j' l; v+ x( _
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌: y3 Q3 x; k: e9 hmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我内容太多了是嘛？; W! Z# q. P) F; q) h+ j& f2 F8 Wmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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( R5 t6 N% p( |( q, f$ L楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:, @$ i ]2 x) Q/ G4 k7 umso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不是多，是乱了。我看完的体会是包罗万象，但具体内容看完却记不住多少。* t' s9 u+ T7 D K, q0 pmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">层次可以简化，什么都想说，太杂了。" j3 s; J q4 hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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6 c% Q$ v7 F! ~1 F5 B- o" N楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:7 \7 u/ f: {6 d; ?; U& \) w! }mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不过不是不能说，要理顺一下。举个例子来说，就用猫总凝练的题目（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的2 s P+ I- Q& e1 K; I
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。这个标题要写，要明确围绕的中心是转型强村。效果是乡村发展水平。对应转型强村找内容。" H2 @' j8 M- B. i$ f L- M: Zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">内容不在于多少，要说出亮点与特色。大家都在创建，为什么选你。因为你创建的有成效，亮点多，做法新。& Z$ g9 X2 W% a4 Q, Smso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这也有点像二元标题。, a# R, `4 n! P7 }* A2 h
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度:9 }, D8 p4 m2 [( L6 W# ^
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mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 39 i) ~! y' E. O( Y" `mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
( ?, z6 ~( p* i! T- \1 Q `mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学你这是典型的观点加事迹的写法，要把材料融会贯通，并从中提炼观点。8 m; h1 u9 ?) v+ ?7 _& Smso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我发表一下个人的想法，有以下几个方面的建议：一是老秘并不了解学员工作的具体环境和具体情况，如果要这样一对一的修改，是需要花费一些时间慢慢对接的；二是就本文来说存在一些逻辑问题，可能是在撰稿之初就犯了一些逻辑性错误，观点（小标题）是根据内容提炼出来的，而本文的小标题对仗工整，乍一看给人的感觉是比较好，但一看内容就有点文不对题了。例如：第一部分，作为乡级政府谈何政策支持？乡镇有制定政策的权限吗？+ d+ q, I/ g7 O, r4 k
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级，包括地市级都没有制定政策的权限，都是贯彻落实上级的政策。此外，从文章的提纲看，二级标题不能囊括内容。0 J! f' G( v' T5 l9 a; [
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:) X( P" T4 U9 V: v1 G1 Amso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级市应该有制定本县美丽乡村建设实施意见和考核标准、政策支持等权力的吧。二级标题与子标题脱节。! w3 h+ g: P/ M; _( C: r; zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">即便乡镇没有制定政策的权限，但也可以出台一些举措，比如以奖代补，纳入考核。这些可以归入政策层面。+ p( x& r5 M3 ^) O y) } s
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学胡晓斌7 w- j& A8 o% @; [7 _mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">——剖析材料的写法。: `9 K$ f9 q2 s. x( I( _) T- Amso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这篇六大点，有点多，整合下。, k2 ~! V! V/ t
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、列提纲、明思路& ~/ J/ U1 u- b2 r, R7 Q
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">在刚才讨论的基础上，我想谈一谈关于列提纲的一点体会。我所理解的提纲就是动笔之前想好的内容，材料的骨架，也是我们通常所说的谋篇布局。7 h) u H" }' s
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, O& R4 r I0 \0 D D" X楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:如果反过来，写加强社区制度建设，对93向社区制度进行梳理，非常平，看不出什么特色与亮点来。
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+ i% j9 \5 z! z- u楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:需求为王，刨树刨根，循此，深挖，梳理片段，轮廓，佐以素材，碰撞，修正思路，揉融观点素材，思路为纲，纲举目张，终是符合有关要求，才算好。
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- O" W; v/ o, n3 R) ~楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:总之写作很难，难在何处，之一是思维。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:难在先方有可贵后生！思路素材之间有一碰撞修正过程不是一成不变的，中间很多时候有变化。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老猫:好标题的灵感从哪里来？老猫的体会是从段落内容中提炼，从个别字词中联想，从上级文件中生发，从参考资料中化用，从交流碰撞中偶得。
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300x180 AD
