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font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-hansi-font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-bidi-font-family:方正小标宋简体">晚文字漫谈——端方
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2014" H5 W+ t5 V% c- Hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">年8月12日
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- f$ w- E: D1 c- I5 d5 V$ D- w楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">地点：* P1 M6 J. S* m3 B' wmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老秘网“文稿修改演播室”（QQ群号：366351120）
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2 ~& `0 [9 ?! A1 U% A6 j" d( O楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">主讲：$ W: ^1 i; b( Y9 }1 c& e
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- J6 D; `/ @; i2 n+ b楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整理：& x- {. A$ Y/ X8 X: Z% b8 X3 Q
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏
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0 Z5 A Z' e$ ?; K ?mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、对一篇汇报材料的讨论
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font-family:黑体;mso-hansi-font-family:黑体;mso-bidi-font-family:黑体">老猫：某市美丽乡村创建工作情况汇报，大家帮某同学推敲一组标题，如何？
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"Times New Roman"">（一）立足转型强村，打造宜业乡村。
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"Times New Roman"">（二）坚持“五水共治”，打造宜人乡村
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">1 V$ b7 y# y7 n3 `- i; o"Times New Roman"">（三）着眼增收致富，打造宜农乡村。
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">' ]# p5 u2 w- a V7 m& p8 p4 M0 P"Times New Roman"">（四）突出民生保障，打造宜居乡村。
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5 I, {& U2 h! O8 o7 s& X5 Smso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">魅力乡村，幸福乡村、宜居乡村、富裕乡村之类的，我的意思是用一根线串起来，让这组小标题形成一个整体。2 G# e, g- j: M/ Q9 Q. p
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i& Y( y/ N* }* L8 U; [; i楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：( B( u4 F7 z, U7 v
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">标题分两部分，前半部分亮手段（做法），后半部分凸显成效。四个乡村的思路不错，但内容上缺少支撑，建议再从内容上面抓取下逻辑。另外，感觉题目不足以体现内容。6 ^# a5 L- _! G0 f& y4 E
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：( t, E9 | o' I+ G; w2 q: Vmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，内容来讲有并列的，也有逻辑递进关系，不知如何把握。6 I5 P7 K+ Z( P- k) v( S
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">富增收入，美展新颜。7 L. I$ T3 q9 Hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">霞光：7 \& G; c. p+ X" h
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">民生保障作为出发点，惠农增收作为增长点呢4 D- R/ u4 y! R( k, Y! Z: j9 z! N
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">妥否5 ?* q, K, p* O# T$ D. G! j0 @5 c2 H- Hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">?
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1 ?0 k1 R& L/ s. k& i& P% |8 |楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏:" J5 X h4 q0 S( `4 hmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">感觉民生保障包括很多方面，不只是宜居。宜居一般是和生态环境放在一起的，民生保障一般和和谐、幸福搭配在一起。/ j# [! r$ G" C$ t: t6 Tmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度：1 I+ V3 h9 m( U3 q- N Z& T/ l0 l
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺序调整一下，环境放最后。不知道第一点内容。1 t. p1 C* t; \) J7 emso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、三任书记接力干，一张蓝图抓创建, Y N7 V* _" q% ^ Jfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;3 F- o) b2 Q8 Z
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仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">1/ o. W6 ~) X' V1 v& a
仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:+ M* L. i, Y2 X% J0 U; e' {/ E( N
宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、一以贯之谋创建。, v0 T1 V; _- R& K/ H4 y* U
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、规划引领明方向。+ B" T4 i. n3 O$ z
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2 c1 q6 r+ ^9 `, t+ h宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、政策支撑强保障。3 i- E P: a e" ^仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、十年时间抓整治，美丽乡村显成效5 _ h2 w0 Y; B5 N: J: k5 s
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的, v# Z5 N+ U% \# l: h" ?
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">“% ?, J, }) ]9 Q+ ?
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏& s0 R- j' z2 E0 L1 g5 g
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。; I8 C7 j' B/ B6 K, ^$ ]font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、依靠主体强动力。) s1 `( N+ a5 p1 Bfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 2( f! F3 a3 n! W' R宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、产村联动促增收。* {: B( y6 i K: u( {: ^' {0 C3 R
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仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 26 {; Y3 i( l2 Y宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、做好农村面源污染整治。7 P0 [. p, [. |$ W
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、深化农村改革。& C- c9 H$ ^* l5 q. [& h. Yfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;" S: R2 ~3 A2 e) b( N
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">一级标题可以不动，二级标题提炼修改一下吧。主体产业是什么呢？1 p3 q2 e1 r E. I. J2 zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">产村联动促增收。坚持建设与发展并重，因地制宜做到美丽乡村建设与产业项目发展并举。一是整合特色产业。根据不同的区位优势、产业基础和发展趋势，规划产业布局，整合产业资源，大力发展专业市场，壮大村集体经济。如古山镇大园东村依托发达的废旧钢铁产业，引导周边1 f. W j& J3 ~0 Y
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">1000; ?# N" X v) {( |" vmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多万元。二是发展物业经济。针对区位优势明显的村，通过农村集体建设用地开发和项目建设，盘活土地，投资发展集体物业项目。如城西新区小东陈村，通过与相邻% u' p( X0 [3 A7 @
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! H& Q: L4 Z! e( f2 {宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个村联合建立五星社区，集聚人口3 m- ^, A) R+ N \7 t2 Bmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2500/ u7 ? [! W' `- j6 W! omso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多人，盘活建设用地, ^) C6 G4 \9 A% @ ]mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">295 g: P3 m5 |9 j! u+ d8 \14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:
" A+ Y0 N* O4 Y; {" u% r, i宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">万平方米，建设城西物流中心，实现村民、企业、环境的, V/ n2 a* J2 \8 h1 F: X
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4 d% T0 D1 e- z* a/ @$ j楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌0 k7 O! i4 Q, f/ u
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">：一般正文里不用一是二是三是的吗？8 q: y' { w" \/ @- H9 F7 s
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">用是可以用，问题不在这里。这个材料感觉像是工作总结，挂了个美丽乡村的头，较牵强。3 y$ u2 Q& E1 O1 p( ?5 }, H4 |- Hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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3 ^9 a$ h; n8 O$ e, i6 a. p6 f1 k( N$ H: qline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">' A# E) @0 w6 j% M14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:( K# c2 R* I; e
楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:- y2 H7 A3 z. w2 B M( I- D# tmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那没有，美丽乡村建设也包括这些内容的，而不仅仅是村庄整治。% W+ Y/ B9 L" B
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: x8 a* o9 a7 w* U# y4 G2 P" D7 ]* @- Z% ]2 o* S, u, Jline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">6 \' y( u9 ^' Z+ z3 J+ k! h1 \
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：4 p4 N4 U t; U% R. cmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我不是这个意思，美丽乡村汇报也好，生态乡村汇报也好，这些内容都可以用。一个汇报材料第一是基本情况，第二是对于创建活动本身的相关情况汇报，第三是做法，第四适当点点问题。当然，问题也可以根据实际情况不点。至于你的措施，应该是结合本情况来的。而且此提纲里，做法没有必要分这么多层次，容易造成逻辑上的混乱。你先要明确出这么几个重点。比如，要说转型，你想表达的转型是什么转型，怎么转型，转出什么成效，结合美丽乡村落到优化产业结构上比较好。% U+ f, c m/ P1 ~2 z, `, G" o
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) ~4 c7 f! L- j0 |& j楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌: \- R2 g; q( gmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我内容太多了是嘛？$ u3 w3 d: l7 a6 r }$ Z
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不是多，是乱了。我看完的体会是包罗万象，但具体内容看完却记不住多少。7 O, D8 p. T: c
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">层次可以简化，什么都想说，太杂了。0 b6 @: X/ j* G; t" g7 R2 n
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不过不是不能说，要理顺一下。举个例子来说，就用猫总凝练的题目（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的9 b3 _9 V, k4 s. [mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“: _( R. e4 ^1 Q; Q9 i14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family: n K! V6 z$ z3 I4 |
宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏! ?! k- B7 v$ D" [mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”5 ]$ M+ L; v7 u6 H/ f& m14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:
d" r' j# a# ~ E5 [9 H; J" S% C宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。这个标题要写，要明确围绕的中心是转型强村。效果是乡村发展水平。对应转型强村找内容。5 w# |* |. y9 n/ E" P
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" B4 f2 C! G1 V: q+ C0 a. z- W4 G楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:. `9 F. v+ e7 \/ M" amso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那我把内容归纳一下，第二部分就点明五六点重点内容。$ I* R; U* U4 L
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# F3 c( b2 _9 ~& L0 j楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:2 ^- {; X3 w# F! k/ A4 [1 c: {' H( ?4 Omso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">内容不在于多少，要说出亮点与特色。大家都在创建，为什么选你。因为你创建的有成效，亮点多，做法新。% s8 J& l* c0 a0 I7 |
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" `5 Q/ [6 y1 x$ B" |: K楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:* Y/ k& v. q; D9 w8 K. Nmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这也有点像二元标题。, V2 b& W& A* H% |9 b+ c/ l, P8 hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度:' N( [5 d8 p; `% N' ]
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学你这是典型的观点加事迹的写法，要把材料融会贯通，并从中提炼观点。8 u1 u7 h; y, T0 |
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我发表一下个人的想法，有以下几个方面的建议：一是老秘并不了解学员工作的具体环境和具体情况，如果要这样一对一的修改，是需要花费一些时间慢慢对接的；二是就本文来说存在一些逻辑问题，可能是在撰稿之初就犯了一些逻辑性错误，观点（小标题）是根据内容提炼出来的，而本文的小标题对仗工整，乍一看给人的感觉是比较好，但一看内容就有点文不对题了。例如：第一部分，作为乡级政府谈何政策支持？乡镇有制定政策的权限吗？$ u/ b/ Q* w I2 rmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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7 w$ `& ]% e% e8 [4 e4 x7 {2 {line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">& ]) ~$ u1 ^6 W' J" i" F6 r( f1 f14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我们是县级市，不是乡镇。9 `" C: G+ @3 Q' E5 s
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级，包括地市级都没有制定政策的权限，都是贯彻落实上级的政策。此外，从文章的提纲看，二级标题不能囊括内容。/ p, C5 q5 M7 K- J, ~! Z. ?
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">0 B/ L' d8 S' O! V0 }( ~& v14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级市应该有制定本县美丽乡村建设实施意见和考核标准、政策支持等权力的吧。二级标题与子标题脱节。! ~% J& X; F. ^
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">即便乡镇没有制定政策的权限，但也可以出台一些举措，比如以奖代补，纳入考核。这些可以归入政策层面。" g$ ?+ ]. m1 i
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这个问题我同意。而且这也不是核心问题。核心问题可能还是逻辑架构上。我觉得晓斌对转型可能没有理解透。) \: X& {% @4 V7 t; G' _# umso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">@398 u5 a+ s6 z( m8 ?mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学胡晓斌9 W' J" x y9 ^0 L* j& ~mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">——剖析材料的写法。- e5 I) s* b) d0 _# t% \mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、列提纲、明思路: |5 ?* u! n6 h! u& _7 |14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:3 G7 P# Z! L; P. m0 r1 V; D
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">在刚才讨论的基础上，我想谈一谈关于列提纲的一点体会。我所理解的提纲就是动笔之前想好的内容，材料的骨架，也是我们通常所说的谋篇布局。* q1 K3 q6 d/ ~5 Dmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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! P- E) h: a; o4 s+ Q2 A m! H楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:如果反过来，写加强社区制度建设，对93向社区制度进行梳理，非常平，看不出什么特色与亮点来。
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% n1 G. r$ y- H/ |/ R8 X楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:总之写作很难，难在何处，之一是思维。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:难在先方有可贵后生！思路素材之间有一碰撞修正过程不是一成不变的，中间很多时候有变化。
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- k% b, ^% K3 s7 Y3 H6 X' @楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老猫:好标题的灵感从哪里来？老猫的体会是从段落内容中提炼，从个别字词中联想，从上级文件中生发，从参考资料中化用，从交流碰撞中偶得。
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300x180 AD
