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" e; o- `$ M8 l. _1 a6 l9 xmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">群“重温经典读书会”49231471辅导我们学习《论语》。贾陆英老师一直记挂着我们这群“大学生”，原本这节课是安排在周三下午的，但贾老师届时另有要事，所以今日上午便特地在群里发出预告，提前到今日下午开课。有此良师，夫复何求？闲话少叙，立即把上课实录整理奉上。1 s6 J) X+ B7 s K/ j: A6 `
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' l2 `% h! ]" p. Zmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">今天下午，我们学习讨论《论语》为政篇第* y# ?$ D5 R( Omso-font-kerning:0pt">55 R7 y5 z( Q) \: `2 Kfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
' s$ C) T- G! x2 q- q e8 [ Dmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">章：6 y6 k8 o" Z7 u4 e2 [. _* v$ X S6 Nmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子问孝，子曰：# `6 B M/ F3 j1 b
mso-font-kerning:0pt">“6 G. s; \0 S3 x- z' _6 N/ M' [* `0 }
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违。6 p. n W- T' U2 W0 X- }# y
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟御，子告之曰：% V; o+ b5 S. X& G; Pmso-font-kerning:0pt">“" l3 f5 L! a& M% H
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* [/ N" Q O+ J. g9 ymso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问孝于我，我对曰无违。) P0 J M6 r' r- S
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% F4 p' p9 }8 e, X, }8 fmso-font-kerning:0pt">何谓也？" [0 J$ V4 i% e4 I# V* C
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">子曰：5 {/ I6 I( N4 T4 z; z
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼；死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。: s1 ~5 ]" ?9 }, Lcolor:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子：鲁国大夫，三家之一，姓仲孙，名何忌，懿是谥号。他的父亲孟僖子临死时要他向孔子学礼。无违：不要违背礼。樊迟：孔子的学生，名须，字子迟，比孔子小四十六岁。御：驾驶马车。孟孙：指孟懿子。# s4 p. N) x7 M# u0 c0 `mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子请教孔子什么是孝，孔子说：: i }/ @& e6 g( g' W
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3 \! v) V; q2 }# nmso-font-kerning:0pt">孝就是不要违背礼。9 `( m4 y5 f8 g' R( V" @5 _; ]& h
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">一天，樊迟给孔子驾车，孔子告诉他说：2 h0 ^" J1 B1 m4 B0pt">"6 b" t R; B. w6 _mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:
, o p$ J6 S$ V: nTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问我什么是孝，我回答他说不要违背礼。! l% E4 }( `: X( O. g, m$ c; bmso-font-kerning:0pt">"5 O3 \* A! d# m% Z* p' Wfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
* g. y; e) r- U6 C: D3 h+ G8 }mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟说：- j; j0 L( Q3 h* C, A' @
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: d6 u, Z/ X, a# o8 k% V1 y7 _mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这是什么意思呢1 n' r1 m% o2 u, s! H, g2 [
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子说：% G* ]. o: @- Z- v$ m5 Kmso-font-kerning:0pt">"- c( s0 m; i7 G
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母活着的时候，要按礼侍奉他们；父母死了，要按礼来埋葬他们，祭祀他们。! n5 v9 X4 ~# hmso-font-kerning:0pt">"
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：怎样理解孝就是# M2 N3 ^' N" D10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“4 _! O, R& {- \3 {6 Z
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违0 W$ l" F$ P7 X q
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8 O3 q1 b0 }; O% x) c& ~ kmso-font-kerning:0pt">答：孔子教人是很讲针对性的。孟懿子不能遵从他父亲贤而好礼之教，所以孔子针对他讲得* r" Q5 `; e" u5 F, v; U5 M smso-font-kerning:0pt">“, D+ g& u4 s# ]! B) t6 Qfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
) @1 R2 V! p8 q; t3 z. |: |5 ]: X+ `mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违 P' _. W4 o% w* }4 N( emso-font-kerning:0pt">”! N( H* b" M8 H2 ifont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;9 Z9 @0 A7 x! f# ^# t
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，就是不要违背父亲的教诲，这是就具体情况所做的回答。但是就普遍事理而言，孔子讲4 Z& T# m1 b' G3 ^: F' J( cmso-font-kerning:0pt">“$ p, z6 F8 A* W O sfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;; s+ B9 y* a y2 x5 @. }( K
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，强调要以礼事亲，不可违背于礼，* w1 c, k) k1 |& I
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/ s) M7 C: @! q7 k0 Lmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。: z/ r2 l& T O
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母在世，如有不合乎礼的言行，子女是不应当顺从的，而要以合乎礼的方法劝谏，这是对父母真正的爱护、尊敬。孝的精神，还应当体现在父母去世以后，要按照礼制去安葬他们、祭祀他们，这才算子女尽孝有始有终。 i2 q: N7 y% P8 c, B
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! x1 @$ f! c: {/ L' [, ~. T d+ A3 Mmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：为什么说以礼事亲才是孝？. I& @) e2 R6 l, s1 V: R$ w U10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：本章谈孝的重点是，孝要落实到礼上。孔子讲仁与礼的关系，一方面强调仁是礼的核心，礼应当体现仁的精神；另一方面又强调，礼的规定体现了仁的要求，依礼而行就是仁。据此，是否做到了孝，要以是否依礼而行来衡量。* ] t" m! D7 Z# z/ y. F0 ]# i/ Smso-font-kerning:0pt">
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3 i, i( z/ l+ o) }9 i# b1 DTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！反过来说，虽然礼遇有加未必出于心敬，但若是不加礼遇那就一定是心不敬，也就是不孝啦。所以外在的礼对于孝来说很重要，如若无礼那必然是不孝！对父母尽孝道，是义& J) q* _9 x l2 ]& e% c; Y3 V! l
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！$ l- v M. t. Z3 z# g/ A+ b& t
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8 K% e1 W% D4 imso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">赞同。孝的本质，是发自内心的对父母的恭敬和感恩之情。有此心，才会有孝行。8 V3 z b3 ^) [' rmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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5 F! Y9 }6 g3 P: n6 p, U3 Tmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">夕惕若：6 L I( U6 w1 g& A% C% hmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾老，昨天晚生正好读到战国时期儒家关于礼、丧、祭的论述3 E9 Q- \( u/ z2 O9 _
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, L4 S8 T5 F4 Z- D! m" tmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。对父母的孝，绝对不能行功利主义，现在社会上很多人在父母有能力的时候，和颜悦色，等到父母年迈无力，不能给自己帮上什么了，就放弃赡养父母，这是一种巧言令色，有所图谋。这三点做到都是不简单的，先说不违，能够做到遵循父母的教导，按照父母意愿行事之人有几？晚生做不到，起码现在说，不孝有三无后为大，父母成天逼婚，依旧违背了。老吾老以及人之老啊1 X, h9 H, F8 A: d k8 xmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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1 }( Q) v: |) r/ ?- l4 b7 F: eTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。现在社会中，生前不依礼事亲，死后大操大办的现象很普遍，成为了陋习，也造成了很大的负担。9 I2 Y7 a; Q, z3 K7 N H. M0 f0 k
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孝经
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。. \: t! \1 h; P4 k
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这是从情感上关心父母，是尽孝的重要内容。生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。! L r0 Z/ D: [: ]' e& p
mso-font-kerning:0pt">——) {/ w2 @ {: l; W: ffont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
: r- M. f+ R3 H7 s1 u9 _) z$ I/ bmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。《孝经》说：9 Z$ X, }$ _$ a, ^ k( p& ?' ?# Z
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7 ]; I/ g0 f( a v5 [6 `mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼者，敬而已矣。故敬其父，则子悦；敬其兄，则弟悦；敬其君，则臣悦；敬一人，而千万人悦。所敬者寡，而悦者众，此之谓要道也。5 W2 G* A$ w( ^mso-font-kerning:0pt">”7 t- A5 i4 L+ m! i1 j, B
font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;! p; }$ A0 X, ~2 p
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼的内在依据是孝悌，而外在表现，就是一个2 e: h0 y* e- D9 v" E, S0 G# v
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3 D# d" v8 E$ S# i& Y# P' Dmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">敬! D" w' u+ z7 G3 A
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) r- z0 r5 ^- j! nmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">字。所以，如能尊敬他的父亲，那么其儿子就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的兄长，那么其弟弟就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的国君，那么其臣下就会喜悦。尊敬的是一个人，却能使千万人喜悦。所敬者虽然只是少数，而喜悦的人却有千千万万，这就是为什么把推行孝悌之道和礼乐教化称为$ @2 }0 k( _& J1 k! e3 [. t
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">要道5 s9 ]! l. ?. D {mso-font-kerning:0pt">”+ q; s5 V+ [: b8 g9 c, v$ Hfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
- o7 E8 w" Q3 |0 omso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">的意义所在啊。0 [* {0 Y; C2 h; Jmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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3 P' D# q6 P( a q7 Q, c1 HTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，这就是不孝有三的第一种。事谓阿意曲从，陷亲不义，一不孝也。我们通常将的孝顺的5 E f: }1 L2 P" q! g9 Hmso-font-kerning:0pt">“: `1 D7 |; t+ g
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">其实就是不违的意思% j* O' F: E+ }4 A t; X; V) smso-font-kerning:0pt">
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