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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">群“重温经典读书会”49231471辅导我们学习《论语》。贾陆英老师一直记挂着我们这群“大学生”，原本这节课是安排在周三下午的，但贾老师届时另有要事，所以今日上午便特地在群里发出预告，提前到今日下午开课。有此良师，夫复何求？闲话少叙，立即把上课实录整理奉上。1 h2 v. ?3 k, T& ?6 ]* @( ^mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">今天下午，我们学习讨论《论语》为政篇第( ~5 o! E: E' omso-font-kerning:0pt">5' M! w- d" J3 \" Q
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子问孝，子曰：1 q2 W4 P% R N) u' Wmso-font-kerning:0pt">“$ m4 R3 X" T8 N$ D2 fmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟御，子告之曰：1 D7 N+ n' \# z5 C& F9 @mso-font-kerning:0pt">“0 J4 Z2 ~2 _9 C: ^mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;
h) N: p' x* Z* i0 ]! f; Vmso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问孝于我，我对曰无违。+ b1 z9 [. k& D6 d1 T o, `) Qcolor:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”' B h" }& g1 V' P* A) R: u/ I8 KTahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;
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3 x, R7 M3 j. o+ f- fmso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼；死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。- `; {& ]. y, s, z& U5 W# l- M$ Rcolor:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”
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0 A) {0 y6 m7 M8 i9 \mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子：鲁国大夫，三家之一，姓仲孙，名何忌，懿是谥号。他的父亲孟僖子临死时要他向孔子学礼。无违：不要违背礼。樊迟：孔子的学生，名须，字子迟，比孔子小四十六岁。御：驾驶马车。孟孙：指孟懿子。* \8 p3 ^1 \3 u# n: u
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝就是不要违背礼。& P# T/ t0 \8 u0 M; G/ o b10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”8 `0 Y8 m: H6 ?8 dmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;, y/ }% g$ Z7 f) Q- A4 o3 y
mso-font-kerning:0pt">一天，樊迟给孔子驾车，孔子告诉他说：% A% T; l' O+ n/ ~ `8 N$ o) ?0 A8 ~0pt">"0 f3 C- j/ G, j8 F4 A% q: Y
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问我什么是孝，我回答他说不要违背礼。* e5 U, L3 L# K {mso-font-kerning:0pt">"+ {2 @; k; j% F" X0 b* b! L$ i% k6 N
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2 l5 t( q p g. Omso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这是什么意思呢4 H! m9 ^6 O, A- {, b3 a
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子说：" Q, [! v v2 M/ f4 C
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母活着的时候，要按礼侍奉他们；父母死了，要按礼来埋葬他们，祭祀他们。' O6 N, n& ?# l: v X5 a2 kmso-font-kerning:0pt">"
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：怎样理解孝就是; G- I3 r4 u1 D" F0 P- m8 K3 S10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“- `' ^' _2 m# V8 C9 G* yfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：孔子教人是很讲针对性的。孟懿子不能遵从他父亲贤而好礼之教，所以孔子针对他讲得2 a% d& G2 @' F, f3 ^
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，就是不要违背父亲的教诲，这是就具体情况所做的回答。但是就普遍事理而言，孔子讲( f; S" j- b- R+ j9 }
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，强调要以礼事亲，不可违背于礼，, d1 M d& y1 t/ G: P1 b7 c# }mso-font-kerning:0pt">“- q+ w' ?0 D3 s2 m2 _9 [ b/ G
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' T- @. ~! e, pmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。" C8 d0 \- F& z/ hmso-font-kerning:0pt">”6 V2 e7 H$ }6 ?( wfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
# b# i/ C) N$ X/ Z* {mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母在世，如有不合乎礼的言行，子女是不应当顺从的，而要以合乎礼的方法劝谏，这是对父母真正的爱护、尊敬。孝的精神，还应当体现在父母去世以后，要按照礼制去安葬他们、祭祀他们，这才算子女尽孝有始有终。% t$ T5 I- F" o, ]mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：本章谈孝的重点是，孝要落实到礼上。孔子讲仁与礼的关系，一方面强调仁是礼的核心，礼应当体现仁的精神；另一方面又强调，礼的规定体现了仁的要求，依礼而行就是仁。据此，是否做到了孝，要以是否依礼而行来衡量。1 u+ j+ K2 r0 v2 j) X3 V9 @& i- k1 Lmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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$ [) [ i# T7 zTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！反过来说，虽然礼遇有加未必出于心敬，但若是不加礼遇那就一定是心不敬，也就是不孝啦。所以外在的礼对于孝来说很重要，如若无礼那必然是不孝！对父母尽孝道，是义" O4 h" K* V1 ~0 D5 S- b1 ~; K% smso-font-kerning:0pt">
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) P0 S5 Z; X) u/ ZTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！) T/ z/ h7 x, W' K$ j9 `! u- Dmso-font-kerning:0pt">——8 F$ N9 g$ R, [3 mfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;& N) p& G+ q4 k M& H& N9 [1 P
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">赞同。孝的本质，是发自内心的对父母的恭敬和感恩之情。有此心，才会有孝行。9 U' ]; h/ \" y) c$ {; _mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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1 i# A, a$ T( VTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾老，昨天晚生正好读到战国时期儒家关于礼、丧、祭的论述% b7 L5 v% t& \+ U) Q( m, M( b2 v* imso-font-kerning:0pt">2, @& X0 d- v: z: w0 [+ @- p
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/ g# R, o" z. P% M- q" F! gmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。对父母的孝，绝对不能行功利主义，现在社会上很多人在父母有能力的时候，和颜悦色，等到父母年迈无力，不能给自己帮上什么了，就放弃赡养父母，这是一种巧言令色，有所图谋。这三点做到都是不简单的，先说不违，能够做到遵循父母的教导，按照父母意愿行事之人有几？晚生做不到，起码现在说，不孝有三无后为大，父母成天逼婚，依旧违背了。老吾老以及人之老啊# O9 S3 _6 D! M4 g8 `$ k; U5 Z
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。现在社会中，生前不依礼事亲，死后大操大办的现象很普遍，成为了陋习，也造成了很大的负担。0 j$ x* ?9 S5 S& G" T% P
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孝经
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。# S& e' H& W) T" t, |mso-font-kerning:0pt">——5 e9 S0 j5 B$ {
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这是从情感上关心父母，是尽孝的重要内容。生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。; {! y6 i" k4 ]
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。《孝经》说：# Z4 t _2 r8 c7 Ymso-font-kerning:0pt">“2 y% k5 _0 I. f8 c* {5 nfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
4 v9 n$ T+ d! h$ I7 @+ gmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼者，敬而已矣。故敬其父，则子悦；敬其兄，则弟悦；敬其君，则臣悦；敬一人，而千万人悦。所敬者寡，而悦者众，此之谓要道也。2 u7 O5 d/ C0 Y) d4 W) |. lmso-font-kerning:0pt">”2 b+ n+ g* v# l# O7 n: s1 `font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;& w p! s6 K; F4 T
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼的内在依据是孝悌，而外在表现，就是一个' u; t0 ~" b6 d4 rmso-font-kerning:0pt">“! P; u( U9 k* p
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">敬+ }7 w( Y9 q; M3 \2 W
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">字。所以，如能尊敬他的父亲，那么其儿子就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的兄长，那么其弟弟就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的国君，那么其臣下就会喜悦。尊敬的是一个人，却能使千万人喜悦。所敬者虽然只是少数，而喜悦的人却有千千万万，这就是为什么把推行孝悌之道和礼乐教化称为+ ~& V% S+ t' B- m. j9 M
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">的意义所在啊。 y2 g# }, s5 }0 r! e! B
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! E( G7 h3 W- G3 t4 W, q5 S3 yTahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">舍得：. \% G0 j0 Y4 V" {: R+ B# o: }0pt">
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" L; l1 \! V- O! \& mTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，这就是不孝有三的第一种。事谓阿意曲从，陷亲不义，一不孝也。我们通常将的孝顺的/ J% R6 G3 l2 @5 o
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">其实就是不违的意思) ^4 R _. m+ Z; d. K4 Z9 }* H
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